Middle School Minute Take 3

I realized I have had this sitting as a draft for some time now.  I wish I had been able to record more of the funny things my students said.  As for now, here are a couple of laughs:

Students quiet during a quiz. 
Student: Raises hand
Me: Yes?
Student: (big grin) My stomach just growled three times.

Student: You should name your baby Raul.
Me: No.  I'm not going to give my baby a Spanish name when it's going to be a white kid.
Student: Oh.. then you should name your baby Gringo.

Student A: Miss!  You have a little belly!
Student B: Aww, it's so cute.
Student A: Can I touch it?
Me: um... (as student A touches my baby belly)
Student B:  (to student A) That's kind of weird.  ... (to me) Can I touch your belly?

Class is quietly taking notes in Mr. S's class.  I walk in and take a seat.
Student:  Miss.  This is my cow.
Student places small cow figurine on desk. 

Middle School Minute -- Take 2

Picture of loch ness monster in presentation
Student 1: Hey, Miss, what's the name of that?
Me: The loch ness monster?
Student 1: Yeah. Have you seen the movie about it?
Me: No.
Student 2 to 1: What are you talking about?
Student 1 to 2: Have you seen the movie about the . . . (to me) what's it called again?
Me: The loch ness monster.
Student 1 to 2: ..the movie about the longest monster?


Bantering Students (this had been going on for quite a while)
Student 1: You're going to copy for the rest of your life.
Student 2:  Well, you're going to die for the rest of your life.


Student: This is my best friend, and this is my best friend.
Me:  You can have two best friends?
Student: Yeah.
Me: I thought you could only have one best friend.
Student: No, you can have lots.
Me: How many?
Student: 21.


Me: (referring to final exams) In my last class every passed and I had two people get 100%.
Student 1:  Oh wow! We can do that, too!
Student 2: Yeah, we can do it!
Student 3: We can do it! . . . . I think. . .


Ms. L: What is the scientific name for humans?
Student 1: homeostasis?
Ms. L: Not quite . . .
Student 2: Homo sapien.
Ms. L: Great!  Now, who thinks they know the scientific name for wolves?
Student 1: homeostasis?
Student 3: Homo wolf?

Middle School Minute

Middle Schoolers can say funny things some times.  I don't catch all of it, but here are some snippets from the past several weeks:


Ms. L is explaining that the class is going to act out a deer population.
Student A: I'll be the deer.
Me: I'll be the wolf that eats you.
Student B: And I'll be the dinosaur that eats you.


Me: Does everyone understand the assignment?
Student 1: Yeppidy-yep.
Student 2: Stop saying Yeppidy-Yep!!!


After the state science test
Me: So how was it?
Student 1: It was hard, miss!
Student 2: It was okay.
Student 3: Miss, it was so easy!
Student 1: Easy?  What?
Student 3: Well, that's because I pay attention.


Student:  Miss, look at this photo I took of a snake yesterday.
Me: Wow. That's a cool snake.
Student: And here it is with blood coming out of it.
Me: Um. . . that's gross. I don't want to see that.
later
Student: Want to see the picture again?


Me: What's your favorite thing to do?
Student: Sleep.
Me too, buddy, me too. 


Student: They're coming out with a new spider-man movie in a few years.
Me: That's cool. Did you know they're coming out with a new Beauty and the Beast movie?
Student: What's that?
Me: Beauty and the Beast?  You do know that story, right?
Student: No . . . Oh, wait, I know the song.
Me(excited): Which song?
Student: You know, that one Justin Beiber sings?
Me (deflated): No . . that's Beauty and the Beat.  That is completely different.


Student 1 to Student 2:  How old are you?
Student 2: 13
Student 1: . . . when you're 20, you're going to die.
Student 2: Why?
Student 1: Because I just decided.


During lesson on evolution and the idea of common descent:
Me: So, it's like your grandpa had a tail, and your cousin became a chimp, still with a tail, and you became a human, who lost his tail.
Student: . . . My grandpa doesn't have a tail. . . ?


Student: *disgusted noise* uh! My bag smells bad.  It smells like cheese . . . from my socks.


Student: Miss, why don't you ever wear skirts?  I like skirts.
Me: It's just easier for me to wear pants most days.
Student: Hm.  Well, I like skirts.
(days later)
Me: I wore a skirt today for you.
Student: It's a long skirt.  Long skirts aren't pretty.