Disrespect

Disrespect is the hardest behavior I deal with.  It's probably the hardest behavior anyone has to deal with.  In one of my first posts I talked about keeping a positive atmosphere in the classroom.  Well, it's extremely difficult to do when blatant disrespect is on your roster.

It's hard.

It's awful.

It makes me want to walk out and leave it all behind.

But I don't.  I breathe. I act.  I don't react (or at least, I try not to!). And then we move on.

In January this year I had a really bad case of disrespect and bullying in my classroom.  I wrote an email to my family talking about my frustrations with and worries about my students.  My grandma, a retired teacher, emailed back with words that hit me, and that I often rehearse in my mind to help me keep perspective.

"Alicia, you must remember you chose a very challenging and difficult area of teaching when you chose special ed, especially at the middle school level. . . .Perhaps you need to renegotiate your expectations. . . ."

ZOING!  Words of Wisdom I stapled into my brain for immediate reference whenever problems came up again.  I probably think about these words anywhere from 1-3 times a week.

Now, I know it's important to keep expectations high for students.  But you also have to be realistic or you'll continually be disappointed with everyone and everything.

Middle school is tough.  Middle school was tough in my grandmother's day, tough in my mother's day, tough in my day.  Middle school is a perpetually tough phase of life that has crushed every soul ever to step in her doors.  Go ahead and add media's expectations, social media influences, cyber-bullying, instant texting, and it just got a whole lot worse.  Go ahead and shift all this to the poor, uneducated community that this school is a part of.  Yeah.  Middle school's a beast.

Disrespect in the classroom is extremely difficult to deal with.  Sometimes I want to scream and make it all go away as if it were only a bad dream.  I've implemented behavior systems and tried to keep it positive and also consistent in delivering both rewards and punishments.  I try desperately to complement the students during their shining moments.  I try to show them that I care, because I do care.  And maybe that's why it hurts so much.  I give my heart to these kids, so when one of them shoves it back, it hurts.  After all that we've gone through, kid, after all that we've worked on together, this is how you're choosing to act towards me?

But again, it's middle school, and it's special ed.  Maybe their day has been just as hard.

So instead of walking out, I breathe. I act.  I don't react (or at least, I try not to!). And then we move on.